Dedicated to you.

by arishaaar

Yesterday was a rather joyous day. It’s almost the end of the hellish exam weeks with only 2 papers left for me (1 for some, 2 for some, 3 for some).

It was the result of a week together and I think it turned out to be pretty good.

The year starts off pretty bad on the friend aspect for me.  Friends who I thought were close to me, the ones who stuck with me these few years left, save for one or two. Project Work was impacted by that and I switched to another rather late (but it was successful in the end). I was lonely, paranoid. I was judged, laughed at, pressurized. I hated them. “Hate is a big word” My grandma says. I was sure I hated them. I mean I never did anything to them but they left for no reason an immature and egoistic me thought.

I bore that grudge for the next 7 months.

It was good that I had time away from them though. It really opened me up to accept different people into my life, not take for granted those whom loved me and I loved. I got even closer to my old buddies from 10 years ago, made new friends and grew closer to my mother. I grew up a little more I guess. I wasn’t the cry-over-spilled-milk Alicia 2 years ago. I moved on quickly while still harbouring a bit of that grudge. I realised, just because they left doesn’t mean I can’t go find more. Everyone out there could be your friend, it’s just whether you open yourself up to meeting them or not.

Yesterday however was indeed rather special. As mentioned, it was nearly the end of our examinations week and we were all in a rather happy mood. Freedom was almost upon us and we just couldn’t help but call it an end. One more push and we would be out.

She needed to head back to Tiong Bahru and return the camera loaned to her by the magazine company (she’s a participant of a competition held by the magazine) and asked a few of us if we wanted to follow her. Seeing as the night before we had talked and some of our friendship had been re-established due to her reading my WordPress posts (mm.. long story), I decided to volunteer, thinking this could be our chance to finally end this petty thing between us and move on, together.

It turned out to be a huge success. We talked as if nothing had happened between us and assuming our usual topics of boys and the basic bitches. Of course there was some on the reason behind the cold shoulders and indirect tweeting but it was understood and waved off like a simple mistake made by both of us. I would say we both took it very well. It was sincere, courageous and downright epic.

Nat, I couldn’t have asked for a better friend. And for that, I thank you.

Oh ma boy, oh ma boy, baby
You don’t know love, my heart hurts
Oh ma boy, oh ma boy, baby
There’s no way you know how I feel
Don’t let me down boy

Oh Ma Boy ~ Oh Ma Boy ~Baby
니가 무슨 사랑을 알아 내 맘만 아파
Oh Ma Boy ~ Oh Ma Boy ~Baby
니가 어떻게 내 맘을 알아 Don’t let me down Boy