How to be a lady.

by arishaaar

Today I attended a Social Etiquette & Western Dining course. It was more enjoyable than I expected it to be seeing  as my first impression of the word “Etiquette” makes me think of something boring and teaching us how to sit straight, forcing us to smile, sit with our legs crossed for 4 hours or something. Also, the trainer would be this impossibly boring uptight old lady who only bothers about how prim and proper us girls are meant to be and how we must carry ourselves well. The atmosphere would be really quiet. No one would enjoy it and there would be an infinite number of rants about it on twitter.

First things first, it was at a country club’s ballroom. Classy.

Our instructor had been in this profession for about 12 years. He was incredibly hilarious and taught us about how smiling is very important especially for first impressions and a lot of other things that was quite common for someone like him to talk about.

The funniest thing though was when he touched on the topic of “Prom Night.” Singapore secondary school proms (especially a girls’ school) is much less grand and of less importance to students than those in the movies. Usually because we’re so focused on our studies that we forget how to enjoy ourselves some time. Our school however has forbidden us from inviting any boys to proms and we were disappointed to hear that. Not saying that we would all invite boys but it was the idea of getting dolled up to impress our date and have them take us to this event that got us since our childhood days for those who do have boyfriends (High School Musical and other movies with proms).

He said that the proper etiquette of helping your girlfriend (girl date I guess. No need to be girlfriend specifically) up a flight of stairs was to:

  1. Let her walk in front of you.
  2. Hold her gently by placing one palm on her back.

His reason? So that when the girl falls, she will fall on top of him and the guy dies!

Another was when pulling out the chair for your date:

  1. Pull it and face it diagonally left from where you stand.
  2. Push in her chair with one knee and then sit down.

Us girls have to be wary though, when he is pushing in the chair, some hot chick might walk past and he might just abandon you, chair and all.

We had a delicious early 3-course dinner with mushroom soup, chicken with roasted potatoes and mixed vegetables and a chocolate sponge cake. Our friend played host and it was very very enjoyable.

“Is this what is expected of us?” I ask myself. Feminism thoughts start to swim in my head and I give it a thought but I think I should just live with it and hey, I would be a classy bitch.

I imagined you bringing me to these formal events today.

 

“The prettiest in crowd that you had ever seen
Ribbons in our hair and our eyes gleamed mean
A freshmen generation of degenerate beauty queens”

-Lana Del Rey

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