A Lack of Colour

by arishaaar

So the holidays have arrived and I’ve done nothing. Absolutely nothing. Except hang out with friends for a couple of days and the re-test. That’s it. The rest of the days? Sitting on my bed, on my ass, blogging, watching videos. For the first week or so it felt so relaxing, so comforting to finally be able to wake up late and sleep late, to get my daily routine all scrambled up and not having to worry that it’ll ruin the next day. That’s all I’ve ever yearned for in my whole year in school, relaxation, slacking, my bed.

But this year is different. This year has matured me in many ways (I hope) and I see some things differently. I also see that the saying “All play and no work makes Jack a very dull boy.” totally applies to me right now. Sure all work makes “Jack” a very dull boy as well but once you’ve played for so long, don’t we all just want something to happen? Most of us Singaporeans hardly go out and play anymore (exception: boys). We stay at home and we tumblr, tweet, facebook, watch the telly, watch anime etc. At this age, almost all of us can’t work yet. Although work is something we all dread but it’s not school work. It’s work like retail or helping relatives at their office if they allow. I only have 1 or 2 friends who get to do that. Honestly, I wouldn’t want to trouble myself to dress up and go to work. But a part of me says, at least you have something to do.

Some of you must be thinking, don’t you have friends? I do have friends. But seeing as we are all a bunch of lazy people, we’re lazy to arrange a meeting. We’ve gotten bored of our common outing place namely Orchard or Bugis. We’ve literally memorised the whole place already, no questions about that. Unfortunately Singapore isn’t a very fun country, being small and mainly suited for business. I guess the government has tried to appease us by building Universal Studios, MBS, Sentosa, Jcube etc etc but there’s only one thing that’s stopping us. MONEY. Yes since we are a very small country, land space is scarce and so, land prices are higher. Leading to higher rental, which forces shop owners and brands to increase the prices on their items so they can make profit and pay rent. I’m not sure if most 15 year olds know this but we do. Are we supposed to? Are we supposed to think so “grown-up” yet? Can’t it wait? Can’t people let us enjoy our life? We’re chucked into this working world the moment we’re born I’m not even kidding. Most of us can probably hold a conversation on many things adults talk about. Those who bother at least.

I’m not saying just because we’re not 18 yet or what we can be blissfully ignorant of what’s happening. No of course not, it’s good to be informed of why things happen, why everything is so expensive. But it just feels so, old? It feels like too much for us. I want to ask them, so what? Do you want us to understand school work that might not even apply to our working life in the future AND understand politics and business? Then a long lecture will be spewed from their mouths.

Okay enough of all this mambo about work life, I’m too young for this crap (by young I mean lazy). Back to not having anything to do. So I sit at home, bored to death but I, Countess Lazy-von-sleep-a-lot, obviously refuse to do anything about it. Fancy that? I constantly dream about something crazy to happen. That’s right, I’m up for the crazy right now. There are a few types of “crazy” I think about.

1) New life in a different place.

Yep. I’m 15, at least I’m not pregnant.

I’ve always dreamed (not necessarily wanted) about what it was like to run off somewhere unknown like in the movie “Moonrise Kingdom” and let life take it’s course from there. I wouldn’t mind getting out of this country and start a whole new life from scratch in a country I would love, even if it was by myself. Then I would find love and not be the lonely one.

Realistically however, I’m not old enough to drive in any country. I can’t go anywhere without mum’s permission and I sure as hell can’t get out of this country at 15.

2) Following dreams. Literally.

I sometimes wonder, those dreams that are could be happening in my life soon or happened (?), are they a sign? I’ve been having dreams of travelling recently since I started really planning the Europe trip for next year with my friends. You see we are aspiring to prove everyone and fulfill a dream very close to our hearts, to see Europe in all it’s glory. We would even deliberately get lost and then try and use a map to find our way back once we’re done exploring. I have dreams of decorating wild Christmas trees mainly because our accommodation will definitely not let us bring a Christmas tree. It’s a fun new way to celebrate it I think. I know it sounds dangerous for 3 16-year-olds to travel EUROPE. Heck we probably can’t even get around our own country by foot. We’re seriously thinking about the money we’ll be spending and we’ll save it by walking 95% of the time if possible. It’s a good way to slim down I hope (we’re all a little on the fat side) so we can come back looking better and wiser than ever. We’d come back street smart hopefully.

For once, a dream is slowly becoming clearer. This is the first big projects I have ever done. I know I know, where will get that kind of money? It’s dangerous! You’re too young. Let me tell you, no. Please do not think we are joking when we tell you we’re going to Europe. Maybe we can’t do it next year. But we’re doing it soon. I’ve got a whole life in front of me, I’ve got time. Do people who joke think about the train passes they’re buying on the Eurail a year ahead? Do they even know what the heck is Eurail?

3) I become un-forever alone.

Yeah because I’m a girl and I think my crush should be my boyfriend. I look forward to texts and calls and dates.

Ok Singapore is NOT a romantic place let’s just get that clear. The beach is shit, restaurants cost a bomb and theme parks too. Also I hate theme parks so that’s out. What do you do with your boyfriend? My best friend and I always ask. I look at Singaporean couples and most of them… FULL ON P D A. Gross? They do all sorts of things at the weirdest places. I think I can take up to kissing. MAKING OUT OH GOD GET A ROOM. Oh well I mean if it’s occasional like in a dark place or something but how can anyone find the streets of Singapore which is crowded with aunties, uncles, ah lians and ah bengs a good place to make out. NO.

I probably like my crush because of what he did with his girlfriend (of 3 days I will never forget that). It’s simple but interesting. We won’t go shopping, we won’t go eat fancy, we won’t go to a typical place where other couples would be. He said, “I took her around Singapore.” They literally went from Jurong (west) to Tampines (East). Now that’s something I don’t hear often.

In the holidays I’ve gone for an anime convention, watched Skyfall 3 time, had a test, watched Pitch Perfect, a sleepover, numerous skype calls, got my test results and passed, shopped, watched Rise of the Guardians, ate fancy and slept at 7AM. I’m still bored.

Please I need something in my life.

Risking all that you’ve got,
For the love of your life (You’re my hero, hero)
Let me be your dangerous girl

-Dangerous Girl by Lana Del Rey

If we don’t leave town now 
We’re never gonna get out of here alive 
I’m walking home from school my thoughts are drifting into space 
Why don’t we leave tonight and take off to a different place 
Don’t tell my daddy why gotta get on that plane and just fly 

Take me to Paris 
Let’s go there and never look back 
Paris, we can be crazy like that 
You’re such a naughty boy 
Why you taking that polaroid 
Put on a show you’ll enjoy 
Take me to Paris

We should go out while we young 
Cause one day we will wondering why 
Our time in Paris 
Take me to movies and salons 
Paris, make out in a dark restaurant 
Will dance until we die 
Wanna go out every night 
Promise we won’t say goodbye

Walking through the streets at dawn 
We dance by empty carousels 
Singing about the sacre coure 
And climbing up the Tower Eiffel

-Paris by Lana Del Rey